Yesterday, while Pinoys were busy getting ready for lunch, Twitter user @ForEllice livetweeted a conversation she heard at a Starbucks. While real names and company name have been changed, she kept Amiga #1’s real name as Amiga #2’s joke wouldn’t be the same without it.
It’s a bit NSFW but there are no photos anyway, so go ahead and read the convo here:
Sitting next to a group of mid-40 amigas at Starbucks & one of them is asking the two others for advice because she slept w/ her ex-husband.
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Honestly, I can’t believe I slept with him pero I had so much wine kasi!” (From what I gather, she remarried and is still married.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Oh my gosh, how was it?” (Amiga # 2 asking the important questions.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Eh syempre it felt familiar. Di ba nga I always told you he was better than Alfie?” (Poor Alfie is her husband now. Stay tuned.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Naku, when did this happen? Has he texted you after it happened?” (Amiga # 3 engages in the conversation after lighting a stick of Esse.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Last night! It was Michelle’s birthday so we all went to Spiral and I brought a bottle of wine…” (She trails off w/ a look of regret.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Ay nako, you talaga! Kami ni Mike, when it gets boring in the bedroom, we roleplay!” (Amiga # 2 is officially my favorite amiga.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“But that’s you and Mike! I was drunk! Pero sa totoo lang, namiss ko siya…” (Amiga # 1, get your shit together!)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Maybe it’s because busy din kasi si Alfie lately with Novartis. I have needs!” (Amiga # 1 tries to justify her cheating.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Keep your legs together, Raquel! Kaya nga may vibrator eh!” (Amiga # 2 wins an award @ life.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Anyway, I agreed to meet up with Rolly later for coffee.” (Amiga # 1 making bad decisions on a Monday. Note: Rolly is the ex.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Coffee ba talaga yan or chupa?” (Amiga # 2 is a woman after my own heart. Amiga # 3 takes a long drag of her Esse and groans audibly.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“To clear the air lang, ikaw naman! I won’t do anything, para lang we’re on the same page.” (What do you think, guys? Coffee or chupa?)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Ay nako, matanda ka na, Raquel. What are you going to do when Alfie comes home?” (Amiga # 3 speaks up. Note: Alfie is away for work.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“I won’t tell him, of course! Hindi ako estupida! Have some faith in me!” (A tension rises between Amiga # 1 and Amiga # 3.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“High school palang tayo, malandi ka na talaga, Raquel. Remember John from Xavier?” (Amiga # 2 is digging Amiga # 1’s past. Exciting!)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“John died two months ago. Cardiac arrest. Sa Quezon Ave. yung burol.” (Damn, Amiga # 3 is making all this tension build up.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Wag niyo nga ako pangaralan. I can’t help that I’m lonely!” (Amiga # 1 takes out the loneliness card.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Di namin kasalanan you married Alfie for his money and not for his penis.” (DAMN, AMIGA #3. YOU ARE ON A ROLL.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Ay nako, wag ka nga. I just need your support on this.” (Amiga # 1 looks at Amiga # 2 with an expression of desperation.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Konti nalang papatahi ko na yang kepyas mo, Raquel! (laughs)” (I want you to be my tita, Amiga # 2.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Decided na ako. I’ll meet Rolly tonight for coffee & tell him we can’t do that again. Even if I want to.” (Amiga # 1 is a #thirstytita.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Buhay mo yan, Raquel. More importantly, pepe mo yan.” (Amiga # 3 dropping truth bombs all over Starbucks.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Decided ka na pala na magkikita kayo, why do you need our help? Anyway, I’m hungry.” (Amiga # 3 puts out her 3rd stick of Esse.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
“Dati pang pahamak yang pepe mo, Raquel! (laughs) Let’s go to Mom & Tina’s?” (Looks like this teleserye’s coming to a close, guys.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
(Amiga # 2 starts gathering her things and drops a #titajoke.) “Kaya nga Raque-Pepe eh. Laki Pepe.” (I’M DYING, YOU GUYS.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
(They’re all gathering their things and it looks like they’re about to leave. Gusto ko sumama sa kanila sa Mom & Tina’s.)
— Ellie ?Centeno (@ForEllice) June 8, 2015
The conversation ended there. Different online websites have picked up this feed. It was even featured on BuzzFeed Philippines where Ellie explains:
“#livetweets are something I do on the reg and I’m armed with intense typing skills and fast LTE. I had to do it, mostly because it was funny.”
Looking forward for more, @ForEllice!
So who are you in this drama: Amiga #1, Amiga #2, Amiga #3, or Rolly or Alfie?
